We are all different; some like their wedding check list in details and others like it with less detail. I prefer less detail on the check list cause or else I would be stressed in no time. I wanted to wait with wedding content and have our wedding on a distance and also just enjoy married life and get into the daily routines again but now I’m ready to share some wedding content on the blog. Weddings can be overwhelming so I wanted to take it all in before sharing my experiences and thoughts and what I did, but I think I’m ready now :)
First of all, you can find thousands of wedding check list on Pinterest and I did that and I got inspired by those as well. Now I wanted to do my own version for you guys that I think makes sense for me :)
Finding a date and agreeing on temple wedding, civil wedding and reception days
From the beginning we already knew we wanted a traditional temple wedding and a more chill reception. We had to agree on whether we wanted to have everything in one day meaning: the hindu wedding, reception and civil wedding. We agreed that we want the hindu wedding and civil wedding on the same day, so we have one date for the wedding and also that made more sense regarding planning.
After that we had to find a date. Since we are hindu, we get dates based on our zodiac signs that we can choose between. Our parents talked with family from Sri Lanka and got some dates. After getting the dates, the next step was to check when the temple was free. We decided to get married in the temple in Herning, Pillayar Kovil. Our parents found a date where the temple was free and the date was fixed. This part, to be honest, went waaaaay faster than we expected and that itself was overwhelming and stressful but I think it’s normal.
After the date was fixed, we had to decide when the reception will be. We first decided reception will be months later than the wedding itself, but then we changed our minds since we wanted our cousins from Germany, UK, Canada and Botswana to be a part of the reception as well, and it wouldn’t be fair if they had to come twice to Denmark.
Beside that we also had a talk about how grant or intimate we wanted the day to be and did we want kids at the reception or should it be an adults only kind of party?
So that was the first step: Finding a date and figuring out how many events we want.
Budget
The next was budget. How much money are we willing to spend on this beautiful day?
I’ll be honest; this one was tough. At first I wanted to spend as less as possible and the same with my husband. But I had no idea how expensive everything was when we decided. So when I started doing my research… It was tough xD
What we then did was talking about what was most important for us and we agreed on following:
- Photography and videography
- Food
- A venue that allows tamil food
- A venue that allows accomodation nearby
This was our priority and where we were willing to spend more money than the rest of the details.
Hindu wedding
We wanted the hindu wedding to be as traditional as possible and also we wanted our parents to run that one. They know best about the hindu wedding and they have been dreaming about this day for years and they do have their opinions on how their kids wedding should be. Also we did not know much about the hindu wedding beside that we wanted to experience it and want the traditional experience. So beside photography, videography, makeup and my first outfit, the rest was up to our parents. This meant we weren’t much stressed about the temple wedding, cause our parents got it and did it the way they wished for and to be honest: best decision ever, cause we were just chilling and enjoying the moment and not stressing much on the day. The only thing we both were stressed about was that you get a time slot where you have to get the thaali on, and you have to change to your second look, koorai saree before that and we both wanted to make sure that we followed the exact time schedule and luckily we did!
Traditions that we kept was the following:
- After “ponurukkal” my husband and I wasnt able to see each other until the wedding
- We were vegeterian those 7 to 10 days
- I didn’t know how my thaali was going to look until the day I got married. My husband, his family and my family “designed” how the thaali should be as per tradition.
- My husband and his family decided my second main outfit (koorai saree), and I didn’t get to see it until the day we got married. So I saw my outfit like one hour before I had to wear it while I was sitting there in the temple, where my husband pointed it out so I could see the color. The saree was on a tray where I could just see the color but not the design of it. Fun fact: I told him I wanted a dark red/maroon color saree. He went for a bright red color instead, and when he showed me I was just looking at him saying: It’s not the color I asked for. And he said: Yeah I know and started laughing. And I started laughing as well. And to be honest; I loved the bright red color saree. I wouldnt have it any other way. I loved the simplicity, the color, everything! And he knew I would like it even though this wasnt what I told him I prefer! I still loved that they decided themselves and that it was a surprise and that they trusted their gut feeling regarding the saree they chose.
These were the extra details we did for our wedding. These traditions are kind of “out-dated” for some and is not a must anymore. All my friends decided their red saree themselves and their thaali themselves which is totally fair as well. But I love that we chose to follow these traditions cause the wedding day was exciting and full of surprises and that made everything more fun. This day was just so perfect. I wouldnt have it any other way <3
But yeah I think it’s important that you are all aligned with your families how you guys are going to do the traditions. I dont think there is any right or wrong way to do the wedding, but just so everyone is alligned and know what to expect from the wedding. A hindu wedding is not just about the bride and groom, it’s about the families as well so communication is key.
Venue
The next big thing which was the most exhausting task was to find a venue! This task was so exhausting and difficult cause we were not that early with the booking. Another thing is, it’s hard to find something where the food is not part of the price. Furthermore those we could find didnt have accomodations. We chose Gavnø Slotsbryggeri and it’s funny cause that was actually the first venue we found and wanted but we were like: it’s too good to be true, so we need to find some other just in case as well.
Gavnø Slotsbryggeri was perfect for us. I loved everything about this place. We also got an industry kitchen to use, there was a bar we could use and we could party all night. There was no “deadline” on when the party should stop. We should only clean overall, the rest they would do. We rented three houses nearby for accomodation through airbnb, so that our friends and family could stay the night. It’s something Gavnø also provided and helped us with. Their service was amazing and the price was fair! When we went there to see the venue we both knew, this was it!
Photography and videography
We were so lucky that my brother-in-law is already so much into photography so he helped us out with booking photography and videography for us! We chose Jeyash and Nomad and they were both incredible! Their way of working, their kindness and patience and I love love love people with humor that makes the whole setting less intense and serious. I’m so happy they were the ones we booked.
For our save the date shoot, we got InFocus, which is my brother-in-law and it was the best thing ever. First of all it was personal and second of all he also is such a patient fun person to work with so it made everything easier. He is also honest so I could calm down cause I know he would tell us what he needs and he knows what he wants so it was just perfect!
They were all very professional yet chill to work with! I would definitely recommend them!
The guest list
This one is tricky so I would suggest that you start in good time ;) Agree on how intimate or how big you want your celebration to be! So as for the invitation list, do an overall draft first, with everyone you can think of that you want for your big day. We agreed that the temple wedding is with all our friends and all our parents’s friends as well. I think we were about 450 guests, and funny enough I still feel the temple wedding was intimate somehow, which I didnt expect to feel.
For the reception we decided it to be more intimate. Meaning we only wanted close friends only. The goal was under 50, but we ended up with 86. It was fun; during this whole process there were friends and family that I really wanted to share this day with, some I actually haven’t connected a lot with in a long time. I invited some I grew up with that meant something to me and have had an impact in my life. I wanted to share the day with them even though we haven’t been really reconnecting. And it was the best decision ever. For the reception we could really tell that the people who where there, wanted the best for us. The vibe, the energi was just joyful and filled with love. It was amazing.
Oh btw! we decided that the reception was an adults only party! We weren’t that strict about it cause we understand that some does not have the possibility to get a babysitter and also some are not ready to leave their kid alone without them since they are newborn, which we totally get and respect! So we said we prefer but totally ok if not possible. Our friends respected that and if they needed their kids to join they asked us and we were totally fine with it. We prefered our friends would come with the kids than not coming at all <3
The hostees
So we chose my brother-in-law and one of my husband’s best friends to host the reception and they were just the perfect duo ever! They were amazing! They made sure that everyone had a great day and that WE had an awesome day! This is essential cause they are actually the ones doing the planning of the reception. We arrange the food, decor, you know the practical things, but what is going to happen on that day, is their responsibility! I am so happy they were the hosts cause they did such an amazing job! Everyone said that! Even our guests were like: Your hosts! They were amazing!
Summary
Okay so far:
- Find a date
- Find out how many days of celebrating
- Agree on a budget
- Agree on what your expectations are: You dont have to agree 100 %, but you have to know each others expectations and compromise if nessesary.
- Book all vendors the second you know what you want!
- Book Venue ASAP
- Book Photography and Videography ASAP
- Book MUA ASAP
- Book DJ ASAP
- Book Catering ASAP
- Book decorator
- Book waitresses
- Book bartender
- Guest list
- Find hosts for the wedding!
- Call your municipality to book the date where you want the civil registration and also if you want it somewhere else than the town hall.
I think the above mentioned is the must that needs to be done as fast as you can, cause if you choose a date in the wedding season, they are all going to be booked if you dont book in time.
and then…
After that all the fun things come, that are less serious:
- Find the dress, saree, lehenga, you name it!
- Book a trial for hair and makeup
- Do a save the date shoot
- Print out invitations (this is not a must nowadays)
- Order stationeries
- Decoration: Agree on style and theme
- Book flowers
- Choosing wedding rings
- Mani & pedi
- Wedding cake tasting and order wedding cake
- A timeline for hindu wedding and reception
- Have someone who is in charge for everything going as planned
What we did not do and do I regret it?
There were a couple of things we decided not to do:
- Henna
- Haldi
- Nichayathartham (=Engagement)
- Bridesmaids and groomsmen
- Transport arrangements or car decor
- Seating charts
We werent really much into the haldi and henna and also I think I would be more stressed out than having fun with it so we decided not to and also in that way we could save money. Also we didnt do Nichayathartham for the same reason: I mean we would save money and I dont think any of us felt like we had to to do a Nichayathartham. We just put all our energy into only hindu wedding and reception
We didnt do bridesmaids and groomsmen either. I personally didnt wanted to choose between my friends, so I would like choose them all, but at the same time I actually wanted everyone to wear whatever they wanted. I told my friends who asked, that I would prefer if they dont wear the same blue color as my first look, but it was not end of the world if it happened. I do regret that I didnt get to take pictures with all friends properly, but what was more important for us was that we follow the timeline for the hindu wedding. Cause as mentioned earlier: there is a specific time where it’s called “nalla neram” where the groom has to give the bride the “thaali” on, and it meant a lot for both of us that this happened in that time spand, so I was scared that it might affect if I started planning photoshoot with friends before going to the temple.
Transport wasnt a big deal, we had our cars, and we didn’t decorate cause it wasnt really a priority.
We decided not to do seating charts cause it was too much pressure cause I wanted to make sure no one felt more prioritized than others. A part of me does regret this cause I think we could have been more safe about everyone feeling comfortable if we did seating but I still cant figure out 100 % if I regret it or not. I just prefered that no one should stress about where their name is, but on the other hand if you barely no anyone, then I guess it would be easier with seating charts? Still not sure xD
